Be Comfortable with Your Natural Self!

Over the last few decades, it seems that Black women have been going through a hair revolution but the movement has been especially strong over the past few years. More and more women have committed to rocking their natural hair. I personally did the big chop in February of 2011. I can't believe it's already been three years! For those who don't know, "the big chop" is when you cut off all of your relaxed (or chemically processed hair) and your natural hair remains. I was left with a teenie weenie afro which got bigger and bigger - I just started locking my hair in September. I'm pretty ecstatic about it!

This can a very trying process for women. Hair is such a symbol of a woman's attractiveness. For decades, Black women have chemically straightened their hair in attempt to be closer to a certain standard of beauty - a standard maintained by the White woman with long flowing hair. In the 70's Black women proudly picked their afros, going right along with the Black Power Movement. In the 80's and 90's we tapered back into processed hairstyles. This millennium has brought back pride in natural hair. We see Black celebrities wearing their natural hair on the red carpet. This is big!

As much as we like to believe that our lives aren't shaped by what celebrities do, they do have the power to make a big influence on the general public. There was a time when people felt very strongly that Black women and men (particularly men with dread locs) should not wear such hairstyles in the office because they are not professional. I said "there was a time," but I'll be candid, in many places that mind frame still pervades.

It is hard for many to see natural Black hair as a professional representation of a woman. This is why I am so glad to see that so many prominent women proudly wearing their natural hair. For example,

                                                                      YaYa DeCosta

                                                                            Alicia Keys

                                                                       Solange Knowles

                                                                          Janelle Monae

                                                                                 Lauryn Hill

                                                                               Tracee Ellis Ross

                                                                       
                                                                                 Lisa Bonet

                                                                         Tempestt Bledsoe

                                                                               Erykah Badu

                                                                                Kelis

There's a lot of talk about "good hair" and how it's easier for women with good hair to go natural. This is the same fundamental problem. I really wish that Black women with every range of hair type could feel confident about their hair and themselves. I think if we see more Black women in positions of power, and not just celebrity, wearing their natural hair, there could be a trickle down effect. If we saw women like Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey wearing a twist out or bantu knots - how crazy would that be?!

When I cut my hair and when I started to lock my hair, I did not think of any professional repercussions. According to my parents that should have been part of my decision. I understand where they're coming from. If I run into an employer who has yet to jump on the progressive band wagon and thinks my hair is inappropriate, then perhaps that is not someone for whom I would I like to work. Or maybe I could just sue them? That could be fun.. haha. I made my hair decisions based completely on me and how I feel about myself. I wanted the freedom to rock my hair the way it was naturally intended to be rocked. I still remember the feeling after my big chop. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And that was true. The burden to conform to certain standard that was not my natural self was then removed and I've never looked back since!

A lot of my friends have joined team natural since high school. Once I get a picture of us all together with our natural hair, I'll be sure to post a picture.

Ekaette vs. Kae

Names are an essential part of an identity. The sound of one's own name has the strongest auditory stimuli. Your name is also what you use when making a name for yourself (the redundancy there was pretty unavoidable.) My full first name is Ekaette, it's Nigerian. Pronounced the American way, that I guess my mom and I developed, it is "Uh-kai-yuh-tay", emphasis on the "kai." In all honesty it's truly not that hard to pronounce, but there are two things that I've noticed when I tell people my first name: they ask me to pronounce it again for clarification or they just smile and nod politely with a look in their eyes that says "why did just girl just speak gibberish at me?"

I don't have an accent, and I guess I don't look anything but Black American (to the untrained eye - other Nigerians can spot me from a mile away), so when I spew something non-American when telling people my name, I guess it throws them for a loop. When I meet people for the first time I do a quick evaluation of them to see whether or not it's worth it to teach them how to pronounce my name. If the person is a friend of a friend of a friend that I'm making small talk with they just get Kae, there's not point in investing effort - is that harsh? But let's say I'm meeting a good friend's sister for the first time. That person is a keeper, she gets the whole name.

It's a whole different ball game as I've been trying to figure out which name I should be using professionally. In college I was definitely Ekaette in classes with 20 or less students, and Kae with bigger classes. I always wrote Ekaette on papers and exams and Ekaette is in my email signature. I did, however, let some bosses call me Kae because sometimes you can just tell when people aren't even going to try. Sometimes people are too old, sometimes just too American if you know what I mean. But now I'm on the road to make a name for myself as a professional adult. My full name in a professional setting could have its limitations. Unless you are Nigerian or familiar with the culture, there's most likely no chance of you simply reading my name and pronouncing it correctly. The typical American comes up with "E-Kate" or "Eh-Ket" and calls it a day. And since I would be starting at the bottom of the totem pole as a 22 year old fresh on the work scene with a Bachelor's, bosses may simply not care if they get my name right, or not care for me correcting them. Ekaette does have its benefits though. It's unique and once you learn how to pronounce it, you don't forget it. So really, my name could help me make a name for myself in a way that other more common names simply cannot.

So when they ask me, "Do you have a nick name?" with a little bit of laughter because obviously with a name so foreign and hard to pronounce, I must have a nick name - what will I say?