Ekaette vs. Kae

Names are an essential part of an identity. The sound of one's own name has the strongest auditory stimuli. Your name is also what you use when making a name for yourself (the redundancy there was pretty unavoidable.) My full first name is Ekaette, it's Nigerian. Pronounced the American way, that I guess my mom and I developed, it is "Uh-kai-yuh-tay", emphasis on the "kai." In all honesty it's truly not that hard to pronounce, but there are two things that I've noticed when I tell people my first name: they ask me to pronounce it again for clarification or they just smile and nod politely with a look in their eyes that says "why did just girl just speak gibberish at me?"

I don't have an accent, and I guess I don't look anything but Black American (to the untrained eye - other Nigerians can spot me from a mile away), so when I spew something non-American when telling people my name, I guess it throws them for a loop. When I meet people for the first time I do a quick evaluation of them to see whether or not it's worth it to teach them how to pronounce my name. If the person is a friend of a friend of a friend that I'm making small talk with they just get Kae, there's not point in investing effort - is that harsh? But let's say I'm meeting a good friend's sister for the first time. That person is a keeper, she gets the whole name.

It's a whole different ball game as I've been trying to figure out which name I should be using professionally. In college I was definitely Ekaette in classes with 20 or less students, and Kae with bigger classes. I always wrote Ekaette on papers and exams and Ekaette is in my email signature. I did, however, let some bosses call me Kae because sometimes you can just tell when people aren't even going to try. Sometimes people are too old, sometimes just too American if you know what I mean. But now I'm on the road to make a name for myself as a professional adult. My full name in a professional setting could have its limitations. Unless you are Nigerian or familiar with the culture, there's most likely no chance of you simply reading my name and pronouncing it correctly. The typical American comes up with "E-Kate" or "Eh-Ket" and calls it a day. And since I would be starting at the bottom of the totem pole as a 22 year old fresh on the work scene with a Bachelor's, bosses may simply not care if they get my name right, or not care for me correcting them. Ekaette does have its benefits though. It's unique and once you learn how to pronounce it, you don't forget it. So really, my name could help me make a name for myself in a way that other more common names simply cannot.

So when they ask me, "Do you have a nick name?" with a little bit of laughter because obviously with a name so foreign and hard to pronounce, I must have a nick name - what will I say?