On the other hand, I share a wall with my parents. As you can imagine, sometimes this is not pleasant. Also, I am typically stuck in my house because I am car-less. Long story short - my parked car, Scar, named after Simba's uncle, was hit by a police car that was chasing some fool. The replacement car that was purchased was sent to my family in Nigeria, so obviously I was not going to be a brat and complain that I wasn't given another car. My parents were kind enough to get me a car in high school, so if I want another one, I'll get it myself.
If I end up getting a job in Baltimore and continue living at home, a car is pretty necessary. There are a whopping 3 bus lines that are near my house. In order to get anywhere that a person would actually desire to go, it takes about an hour. So then you have to decide whether or not you are willing to spend an entire hour riding to a place that is a 13 minute drive away. I am usually not willing. Especially when it's cold as the dickens outside.
This means that I basically leave my house when one of my friends or cousins is willing to scoop me (read: save me). Or my parents. But I see my parents all the time. I've now been home for about 2 and 1/2 months. Since high school graduation the only time that I've lived at home for this amount of time is summer vacation, which is the case for most 20-somethings. The 3 month marker is coming up in a couple weeks. Can my adult self survive in this environment past that point?
You may be wondering why I speak of this environment as something that I need to escape. I've got the perfect set up right? Wrong. My parents have repeatedly told me they can't help but to think of me as a 15 year old girl. I think it's my cheeks. They're adorable, and that's just not my fault. The point is, I don't think this is a natural set up. I believe I've reached a point where I should be able to function on my own. I don't think I can really start my growing up process if I don't get out there and figure things out for myself. Especially considering the fact that I went to college in my hometown (though I did live on campus) and my time in AmeriCorps was cut short due to my inability let myself continue to endure torture, I really do need to get out on my own.
The weary adult (my parents, older cousins, aunts, uncles, etc...) is continuously imploring how financially rewarding it would be for me to live at home for a few years and save some money. I totally understand the concept, but I truly believe my mental health might suffer if I continue to live at home. Ultimately it is my adult decision that I must make by myself - stay at home and save money, or move out and finally be on my own. I am so grateful to have my parents as a support system, and I don't know where I would be today if not for their support throughout my entire life. But in my brain, my current situation is a temporary one, and I think that's the way it has to be.
Will I kick myself years down the road? Will my need for independence and liberation end up hindering me? I know no one can really answer that for me, and I can't either. It's just a chance I have to be willing and ready to take.
No comments:
Post a Comment