Operation Chocolate Destiny

Operation Chocolate Destiny was a little something I coined during my desolate times in AmeriCorps while I was stationed in Colorado. Essentially, the premise was to find myself a beautiful chocolate skinned man who was dating material. Why I thought this was an appropriate time, I am not sure. This was also when I began my illustrious Pinterest activity. So it was a time of big dreams and pretty things I had no access to. 

I had and have been deprived of this particular brand of man for quite some time. First I went to all girls' school for 12 years (general male deprivation), then I went to the Johns Hopkins University (general chocolate scarcity). I would also like to point out that from now on, I am actively deciding to refer to my male counterparts as men and not boys, sometimes I'll say "guys" if the context is right. I don't know, I don't know, I'm trying to mature or something. A 23 year old male is a man right? And a 23 year old female is a woman not a girl. Or maybe this is the I'm-not-a-girl-not-yet-a-women part of life Britney was complaining about. 

But back to the important stuff. Let me give you some visual examples of Chocolate Destiny. We'll stick to the famous variety as to not embarrass any of my friends, well probably more like associates that I should probably unfriend on Facebook because we're not actually friends, but I haven't yet because they are beautiful. Curse you, Halo Effect. (Sup social psych.)

IDRIS ELBALook at how he's looking you. 

MORRIS CHESTNUTAdmittedly this is not the best picture of him, but this is from The Best Man (1999). If you have not seen this movie, upon viewing it, your life will be changed by how beautiful Morris Chestnut is. Just like, look at his facial hair, look at his skin, his mouth. Look at what I think is a solitary tear as he watches his bride come down the isle. I really, really could go on and on. Woo Lawd.

TYSON BECKFORD:
I wasn't going to post any topless photos to keep this blog at some kind of level. But that's stupid, because look at him. Look. At. Him. With those tat sleeves too, though? I'm definitely having a time as I write this.

ADRIAN PETERSON
I was initially trying to find a picture of him in a suit, but then I thought, nah... 

TORREY SMITH
I can't even think of an adequate caption.

Also, let the record state, I respect these men for their talents as well as their Chocolate Destiny qualities.

I'm not sure what sparked this particular "craving" back in October. All I know is, it hit me hard. The other thing I know is that it couldn't have come at a worse time, you know, being in the middle of Colorado. Chocolate Cowboys are few and far between. Some of you may be thinking that it's pretty obvious why I would be on the look out for a chocolate destiny at any point in time, since I am in fact someone's Chocolate Destiny. (Disclaimer: that wasn't me being full of myself, that was me believing that I am the one person that someone in this world is looking for, a.k.a. his destiny and I am proudly chocolate.) But based on my dating history, chocolate destiny, has not been my pattern. Attractive is attractive no matter the skin color. I really do believe that. And that's just surface level. We all know what counts is what's inside, blah, blah, blah, but that's not what I'm talking about right now.

For the most part, my friends seem to think I'm only interested in dating or even flirting with Black men. Given the social circles I have allowed myself to be comfortable in, you would think that it would be pretty clear that that is not the case. I don't think I've made any bold statements exclaiming any narrow interest in one type of man (not including the unveiling of Operation Chocolate Destiny). Perhaps this is just based on the men I have dated in past, who haven't all been chocolate, but different shades of the brown continuum. In any case, if a friend and I are talking to two guys and one is white chocolate and one is milk chocolate, I am expected to go brown. This is quite unfair for a few reasons. What if the White man is cuter? What if the White man wants to see if he can handle my sass? What if my personality clashes horribly with the Black man and we hate each other? Why are we automatically supposed to get along or even be attracted to each other because of our skin color? Also, my friends know my life story pretty well. They know that I have spent the majority of my life socializing around the creature that is the infamous white male. I'm not sure if there is a discrete way to say, "Hey if the White man is cute, I would like to talk to him." If he's not cute, I will not make a fuss. That's just biology. Don't start thinking I'm shallow. Nobody wants the peacock with one feather, and that is a scientific fact.

On the other hand, some of my aunts and cousins are completely convinced that I'm going to marry a white man a la Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker in Something New. I'm still very confused about how people can so confidently make such assumptions. Is there some determining factor that I'm blissfully unaware of? Then we have my father who almost had a heart attack when I went to prom with a White boy. I think he thought prom meant dating was involved. We don't specifically discuss it, but I'm pretty sure he would be happiest if I settled down with one someone from my tribe. Not kidding at all. But whatever, I'm not marrying anyone any time soon. So we'll cross that awkward bridge when it's in eyesight. 

So as I'm keeping this operation alive,  there are folks who carry out something to the effect of Operation No Chocolate Destiny. I couldn't tell you the amount of times different friends have told me that they aren't attracted to Black women or men or that they would simply never marry a Black person. Because I'm sure some of you that have made these statements are reading this blog, my questions are: what did you expect my response to be? And did you genuinely expect me not to take any offense? And if you didn't expect me to be offended... why not? It reminds me of how people get a kick out of telling me that their grandparents are racist. Still not sure how I'm expected to respond to that... 

These off color comments (pun intended) come up in discussions with my friends more often then I ever expect. I handle it differently depending on the person amd my mood that day. On more occasions than not, those friends have had to eat their words because one day they found that they could in fact be attracted to a Black person. Sigh.

I know there's some science behind being attracted to the people who look the most like you. We won't be delving into that science here. This is not that kind of blog, or at least not right now as I write this on my bus ride home from work on my tablet phone (which I've just decided to name "Big Berttha.") I don't want to subscribe to that whole look alike notion because it creeps me out. I'm uncertain as to why it doesn't creep out everybody. 

I don't think I said this explicitly, but if you are a Chocolate Destiny reading this right now, please feel free to contact me. I mean the Chocolate Destiny variety with ambitions and such, no scrubs please. I wish I could eloquently express the extent of my seriousness. Actually, if you are a Destiny of any kind that is reading this and feel so moved by my words to the point where you must talk to me because I seem so interesting and fabulous, you can contact me too. Stay tuned for hopefully next week, where I'll be writing my opinions about dating whilst not in school. Because how does one do that?